Monday, September 17, 2007

Banging My Head Hurts Till It Hurts

So I'm in the supermarket of all places today when a little Quiet Riot comes blaring over the loudspeakers. As riffs from "Bang Your Head" flood through the aisles, much to the shock of some customers, I realized it'd been years since I rocked out to a little QR. I was even tempted to throw up a quick devil sign right there while buying cat food! So I came home and downloaded a few of the classic tracks this young metal head used to indeed bang his head to. However, while definitely fulfilling my nostalgic need for speed, these songs also served to make me realize just how truly awful some metal was. Want proof? Check out these lyrics:

Well I'm an axe grinder... piledriver
Mother says that I never never mind her
Got no brains. I'm insane
Teacher says that I'm one big pain
I'm like a laser 6-streamin' razor
I got a mouth like an alligator
I want it louder
More power
I'm gonna rock ya till it strikes the hour

Bang your head! Metal Health'll drive you mad
Band your head! Metal Health'll drive you mad

Well I'm remonstrated... outdated
I really want to be over-rated
I'm a finder and I'm a keeper
I'm not a loser and I ain't no weeper
I got the boys to make the noise
Won't ever let up
Hope it annoys you
Join the pack
Fill the crack
Well now you're here
There's no way back

"Got no brains. I'm insane"? "Fill the crack"? What the fuck?

Who wrote this shit?! If I had paid any attention in 1982, I could have written better lyrics than that and made a mint!

Ah, well... you gotta love it!

Repeat track.


D. L. Nelson said...

Those are some god-awful lyrics. But remember the way that most Heavy Metal songs were screamed, a person would be hard pressed to pick out a few words beyond the chorus.


Seth said...

Ha ha! Takes me back to doing my paper route with my walkman. I went through so many sets of headphones blasting this crap.

Scott Sackett said...

There are lyrics to heavy metal songs? Who knew?

Oh well, as long as it's gotta video with a guy in leather pants and a sword kicking down a wall it's cool!

Let's face it: we all love it, but metal really sucks!

(Hey, it's DL!)

ANX said...

I think that was the point back in the 80's. We were sooooo up on being cool that we didn't actually LISTEN to lyrics.