Mutsumi and I were sitting on a packed train back from CT today, headed to Grand Central. We were lucky enough to get seats on the crowded express, but were sitting middle and aisle with a heavy-set, middle-aged woman next to us at the window. She was a pretty plain-jane, motherly type of lady, who was reading an architectural magazine, I happened to notice for some reason. Anyway, I pulled out an article about Paul Feig I had been waiting to read as Mutsumi fell asleep on my shoulder. The ride was typical and uneventful.
For about 30 minutes.
Which is when "Me So Horny" by Two Live Crew started blaring through the train.
I immediately looked up and looked around. Then I noticed all the other passengers were glaring my way. But it wasn't me! So where was the music coming from?
Then I noticed the woman in the window seat next to me madly scrambling through her purse. And all of a sudden, out comes her cell phone, now clearly identified as the source of our oh so sexual musical interlude.
"Oh me so horny! Oh me so horny! Me love you long time!
She looks at the phone's screen, smiles, then opens and closes it, ceasing the ringtone rap. But rather than look flustered or embarrassed, she just calmly turned to me with a friendly smile on her face.
"Sorry. Boyfriend.", was all she said.
I nodded knowingly and she turned back to her magazine, completely unfazed.